Saturday, June 20, 2015

If Not For Him : The Depth of a Father's Love

“Because death is the only thing that could have ever kept him from you.”
― Ally CarterOut of Sight, Out of Time

Seeing him only during the weekends made me believe that my father and I had a weak connection, that we have not much in common, and that there’s not much to share and offer to each other. But just recently, I realized his impact in my second life, which he made possible. If not for my father, there’s a great possibility that I am already gone, or, worse (for me), permanently disabled since I was involved in an unusual car (bus, to be specific) accident when I was in the fifth grade. I fell out of a moving bus and ended up lying on the road. Worse comes to worst, I landed where I can still be hit by the bus. One wrong move, I could die. So in order for me not to do any movement, my father came running to lay on me. In doing so, he risked his own life. This time, one wrong move, he could die. But we were blessed that night. We both survived and was able to go home safely.

I guess buses were not made for me. Just last year, while on my way home again, I was harassed by the guy sitting beside me. I fell asleep, but his hand woke me up as I felt it touching a part of me which he should not touch. For a while, I didn’t know what to do. I just burst out in tears and felt ashamed and embarrassed. I was alone, and I knew for a fact that my father will not show up to rescue me again. But I remembered how he taught me the basic self-defense and the importance of defending yourself. Though crying, I was able to apply it that day, and my application of self-defense caught another passenger’s attention. He helped me right away. We were able to send that man(iac) to jail. If not for my father and the stranger (who happened to have the same name as my father), I would not have helped myself.

For a long time, I failed to recognize the influences of my father to me. I was in denial on his impact in my life, until he has lived his life. Early last year he was diagnosed with cancer and after 16 days, he died. But he just died, we know he never left. His death made me know him better, and in knowing him deeper, I was able to understand myself.

About the Author

Krezta Rae Palces is an English teacher and an MFA Creative Writing student.

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