Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A Stroke of Lightning

“A Stroke of Lightning” uses simile and metaphor to finely point the vindictiveness of the man towards the main persona which somewhat evokes dread and disgust.

In the first stanza, the voice of the man was compared with that of the thunder and lightning. It was given the abilities like of a man - splits and strikes. Same with the second stanza, which set thunder with the capacity to roar, creep and feign like an animated being.

But some of the abilities were inept with the natural characteristics of the thunder. The usual deafening thunder will never feign like a lullaby. This is a very big contradiction that affects not only the logical thinking of the reader but also the literary. Before one can accept the figurative language of an object, one must clearly comprehend its literal language. But then again, giving chance to this metaphorical presentation, it lets me picture a very cunning creature who can transform into a very innocent lad just to satisfy his wants and desires.

Another contradiction that I’ve seen was when the poet revealed on the third stanza that lightning left no blister or even a trace but suddenly on the last stanza the stain was exposed on the hem of the skirt of the persona.

I also found some words to some extent odd and weak.

Rumbling through my head
Frightens me, Trembles me
Occurs when lightning

On the third and fourth lines of the first stanza, the poet consistently used simple present tense of the verb but then on the second line it used the present progressive tense of the verb. I don’t really give much importance with the tenses of the verb but what I would like to emphasize is the use of consistency not only on grammar but as well as on the sound that the poem is trying to produce. It is more pleasant to hear the words rumbles, frightens and trembles stated in a series rather than rumbling, frightens and trembles. I also think that terrifies is more suited to use than trembles. And the poet may just delete the word occurs on the fourth line.

Frightens me, Terrifies me
When the lightning

In addition, the use of lullaby on the third line of the second stanza gave a crack on the fearsome image and event the poem is trying to build-up.

Lastly, the poet may consider adding "but"  on the second line of the third stanza to continue the intensity of the drama within the poem. The injection of "but" will give the impression that even the day seems fine or even thunder faded, lightning will never stop breaking her life and haunting her soul.

The thunder fades – But
Lightning strikes